NOTE: By popular demand, I am reposting this from April 1st. However, please be aware that this is not funny. Or true. So don't send me any scolding emails. Thank you.
April 1, 2011, Bend, OR: Inspired by the Bronx Zoo's Cobra, one of our local rattlesnakes escaped from its exhibit yesterday to explore the town of Bend and its environs. However, after 24 hours on the loose, the viper returned and attempted to re-enter its enclosure, complaining that there was nothing new to see in the area.
Fresh from the twice-daily appearance in the hit show Venom & Vipers over spring break, the rattler thought it was time to break free and see what the big city had to offer this aspiring singer/actor/dancer.
"Really, what a let-down. B.Z.Cobra hit the Empire State Building, Times Square, Yankee Stadium. All I got to was the D&D, and they carded me. Drake Park was filled with geese - a little too messy if you know what I mean. I had to shed a skin just to clean up."
The viper continued: "It was way too far to Bachy*, plus I'd freeze my rattle off up there. Buying snow gear was going to cost an arm and a leg, neither of which I have."
"All I saw for miles around was sagebrush. I come from sagebrush! At least back here I get all the mice I want and have a 24-hour heatlamp. Plus I hang with the gila monsters - pretty cool dudes once they loosen up."
Museum officials were quick to reassure the public that the snake enclosure was secured. "HD TV and a Wii have been added to the exhibit so the snakes can exercise, although Wii Boxing is unavailable to them at this time for logistical reasons," said a spokesperson.
Image courtesy of Jill Rosell Photography - thanks, Jill!
*Mt. Bachelor for all you non-snowboarders.
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